Tyler's story

‘Who Am I?

It’s a question I often find myself considering. Of course there is the simple answer: I am me. Unfortunately, things are often much more complex in practice, with many layers making up each facet that makes us who we are. For me, there are two big things that I’m sure most people are at least partially familiar with: gender and sexuality. Both concepts, though seemingly simple on the surface, turn into seas of infinite complexity when you try to figure out where you fit. As someone who falls into both categories in a context that is, at this time, fairly un-stereotypical, I thought I’d take this opportunity to open a small window into my life for anyone who may be considering these topics and offer some order to what I know is an extremely confusing situation. Of course, every path to self-discovery is a unique journey and so mine may or may not help, but in the hope it does, I’d like to share it with you.

As all journeys inevitably do, my story starts at the beginning. Even as a child, I knew that ‘something’ wasn’t right. I didn’t know what it was and I still lack the vocabulary to describe it. Things only became more confusing as I hit puberty, around the same age as my friends and, as I’m sure everyone is familiar with, this leads to many physical changes. Now, as someone who is scientifically inclined, the physical changes were not the confusing part. Instead, I was confused by my reaction to the changes. I watched as my friends became elated as their bodies evolved, whereas all I felt was more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. Around this time, the sexual inclinations of my age group began to reveal themselves. For a long time I was confused as to why the sexual aspect of our culture seemed so personally unappealing. So I did some research and found there are others like me, and I found a word: ‘asexual’. This was the beginning of my LGBTQ+ journey.

When I started at college, I joined the 2BU group where I made many friends. I discovered areas of the LGBTQ+ community that I had never heard of before; one of which I found I related to: non-binary. This isn’t a well-known term but the definition is fairly basic: any gender outside of the two binary genders (male and female.) Non-binary means different things to different people: gender fluid, third gender and lots of others. For me, it means ‘agender’ (identifying as having no gender.) The relief I felt for having a word I can use and not being alone was immense.

Unfortunately, being part of the LGBTQ+ community is not as simple as finding a word that fits. There are many stages to go through and often the most underestimated stage is self-acceptance. It’s a long journey with stops and starts and so many obstacles, and to anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+ and is having trouble with self-acceptance: you don’t have to do it alone. 2BU is a local charity that supports young LGBTQ+ people in Somerset and has helped me find and accept who I am.

Just remember: it’s OK 2BU.

So, uh, yeah.
Hope you had an awesome day!!